Who Am I?

I read two things this morning that got me thinking ...

A Nietzsche quote (he is so quotable, and tho he didn't understand what Jesus and his disciples was really about, he was so right-on in many of his comments on Christians and humanity) -

"We are unknown, we knowers, to ourselves ... Of necessity we remain strangers to ourselves, we understand ourselves not, in our selves we are bound to be mistaken for each of us holds good to all eternity the motto, 'Each is the farthest away from himself'--as far as ourselves are concerned we are not knowers."

This was in context with the subject of a book Lost in the Cosmos: The Last Self-Help Book - that we can learn more in ten minutes about the Crab Nebula in Taurus, which is 6,000 light-years away, than we presently know about ourself, even though we've been stuck with ourself all our life.

And I read James 1, and paraphrasing here, verses 22-24 -
"You listen, but you do not act upon what you read and hear ... Hearing and not doing is like looking at yourself in a mirror, and after walking away you immediately forget what kind of person you are ..."

I've lately been reading in both Numbers and Deuteronomy and see how ridiculous the Israelites were! So many times in frustration, God wanted to wipe them out! They 'saw' so much, and yet in the next instant would forget and grumble and live wrongly. If they, like children, had so much of God's personal attention and guidance, and saw so many miraculous things on a daily basis, can't 'grow up' into a mature faith - how can we?

They wandered the desert for 40 years, killing off a generation and growing up a new generation. Before they were to enter the new land, God did not want them to melt into the surrounding cultures. He wanted them to know who they were and not forget. How did he do that? He gave them rhythmical calendar celebrations and lots of visuals and imagery and ritual/tradition to instill into their lives so they would remember and not forget who they were/are in God.

We too can get so caught up in our current culture and learnings and not know who we are. How best to remember who we are? First: know and believe that God loves me first as I am, and that He desires a relationship with me. Then act on that!

The very nature of love means choice. Choice means I need to know something (or someone), so I can make good choices. But there's so much to know! I boil it all down to simply going about my days in love with God. The same tools God gave the Israelites, I have for my use too. I use the calendar days and all the connected stories of so many who have lived in love with God. If God was there for them in their midst, then He's going to be here for me today and tomorrow. I can know who I am, and live better ... live fully alive! live more whole.

Peter and Paul

Yesterday, the 29th, was the church calendar day for remembering both Peter and Paul. Every year I remember differing things about them.

Some years I've felt so empty that I remember Saul's lightening bolt experience of God and beg God for something similar for me, even if just a wimpy candlelight flicker of hope. Some years I've focused on Jesus' asking Peter three times, "Do you love Me?" - and remember God loves me first - me, as ME.

This year? First I thought how both had their names changed by God. God pursued them and renamed them.They butted heads with each other and challenged one another and this all was a part of the newness to come. Devout Jews, what does it mean to follow Jesus? What does this new community of believers mean, and what does it look like?

They were so different - Peter was a simple uneducated fisherman who probably had no knowledge of the theological debates of his time. He simply responded to Jesus in a direct, impulsive way. Paul was well educated, sharp, deeply concerned about truth, and willing to persecute those he considered in grave error.

The church is built upon the foundations laid by both Peter and Paul. Their togetherness on the same calendar day speaks to me of unity, of working together, even with all our differences of backgrounds, and varieties of strengths and weaknesses, and emotions and rational/reasonings.

Happenings

While I'm at it (and I do love to write ... and I was going to go to bed early tonight ...) things are happening just this moment around here. Furniture Monte and me have been waiting for came in at the store, and they're currently having a huge 4th of July sale ... so we went today ... it reminds us of why we want to keep our pick-up (just don't want it as our primary vehicle!).

Dawson just came home with some friends and they are bringing the stuff in to where it's going to belong. (He's playing in the worship band this weekend at church for the three services, and his friends will spend the night, leaving early in the morning for the next two services.)(We're making use of Dawson and his friends a lot ... soon he'll be gone ... and getting-old-Monte-and-me want things finished up around here - for us to carry-on into our next season of life.)

I saw the image above and it directed this post. Our home is SO messy right now. Maybe not so messy as dusty-dirty. I've been so busy outside - Monte was gone - and this is pine pollen time. I keep all the windows closed for several weeks. I'm waiting for rain to settle the pollen - PLEASE RAIN! We've just gotten wind and some spittle. So yellow dust is everywhere - even with just the front and back doors open. It is the one thing I'm allergic to, but I don't panic in trying to avoid it. I just have to remind myself - DON'T TOUCH or rub my eyes! It's about now that I keep a generic allergy pill handy or the allergy Visine handy - & I have a kind-of cold.

I have my famous quote (my daughter-in-love Sarah wrote my quote on our graffiti wall in the guest bathroom) - "Dust is country". We don't have a lot of dust. We don't have air-duct-work - for heating or cooling. So I don't do a lot of dusting. And with our house being a farm/country/mountain home type decor, I feel that dust is just a part of it all! But this time of the year! ...

And the characters!!! We ARE quite the characters!

Attack! Red-Winged Blackbird

I just watched a news video on a red-winged blackbird attacking some people on bikes, and I'm remembering that I've been attacked by one too!

Periodically I like to walk around Evergreen Lake - they've made a nice trail - just a bit over a mile, and I'll walk around it twice (I used to go, taking Dawson, since he wanted to fish or catch crawdads, which we ate once).

One year they started posting a sign just before you entered the boardwalk that went over a wetland area of the lake with lots of reed/plant growth. It was a warning sign about an attacking red-winged blackbird.

Defending his nearby nest, the dive-bombing daddy pecked me on the top of my head, and sometimes clawed at my hair!

Apparently they are a highly polygynous species, having up to 15 females nesting in his territory - BUT it does not mean all the young in a nest are his! being sired by other neighboring males. They sound like quite the communal bird, even throughout the year. The nesting season is primarily late May through early July.

I never imagined that the female wasn't black like him. She's just brown and striped all over. It's so interesting that females in the animal kingdom are so bland ... and then there's us humans!!! Hmmm ..........

Irenaeus

Irenaeus is known as Bishop of Lyons in southern France and today, the 28th, is his day on the church calendar. He became one of the most important Christian writers of the second century - a great theologian. The institution of church was still in it's 'newness'. He was a disciple of Polycarp who was a disciple of John the Evangelist, who knew Jesus intimately.

His primary work, Against Heresies, was especially concerned with the Gnostics (Greek for "knowledge"). Irenaeus thoroughly investigated the various Gnostic sects and their "secret", and contrasted it with the teaching of the apostles. Many of his other writings are quoted in other people's writings.

Irenaeus opposed the Gnostic attitude toward creation by affirming both creation and redemption as the acts of God. The "One Creator God" worked through his "two hands".

"The things we learned in childhood are part of our soul," he wrote, and he cherished Polycarp's teaching "not on paper but in my heart"; "This is what I heard from the man who knew the man who saw and heard and recorded it". Irenaeus was the first to state the four Gospels as canon, saying they are the ones we may trust.

"Give perfection to beginners, O Father; give intelligence to the little ones; give aid to those who are running their course. Give sorrow to the negligent; give fervour of spirit to the lukewarm."

?

Should I open a 'can of worms'? I like long hair and dread-locks. It's the hippie still very much alive in me.

Dawson's photography

I was just looking at my son Dawson's photoblog and saw that he captured a painted lady butterfly on a lilac flower. He's got a lot of really great photos!

Flowers

I love summer! I'm outside most of the time. I love sitting at my umbrella table on the back deck, both eating there and reading. I watch the birds from there - they seem to like the sanctuary I've created for them.

I'm posting a picture of flowers on my front porch. Monte built window boxes, but I gave up planting real plants in them years ago. The front porch gets only early morning sun for just a bit, and nothing seems to grow very well. There's also wind to contend with there too.

So I have boxes in the garage of seasonal flower changes. 

John the Baptist Day

It's six months till Christmas! It's Summer Christmas. This is the day the creators of the church calendar chose for John the Baptist's birthday, so we'd remember him and his story and his message for our soul's benefit. AND it is full blown summer with earth's bounty.

(This is also the day in history that the first state-sponsored terror against Christians began; the first wave of Imperial persecutions at the hand of Roman Emperor Nero.)

As I said yesterday about summer, nature is breathing out all its extravagance of warmth, plants and color. In comparison to Fall and Winter, my soul relaxes and has less concentration. Inwardly I'm in more of a day-dreamy state.

When Summer Solstice rolls around I always think, "Oh yeah, John the Baptist Day is approaching" and I remember his messages. Amid the abundance of summer's growth and fruiting, John was simply clad, and lived in the wilderness. Amid summer's heat and brilliance, John speaks of repentance and urges us to be introspective. He reminds me to look inward and be awake to the universe's mysteries.

While the external landscape calls me into all sorts of activity, I need to not forget or neglect the deep, rich and resourceful landscape of my inner soul.

John began the announcement of the coming of the Kingdom and the Lamb of God, and said, "Prepare the way of the Lord","repent" (change my thinking). A reminder in the midst of summer's madness not to stray from the path, keeping my feet on solid ground; and keep my soul in balance in life's busyness.

"He (Jesus) must increase; I must decrease."

The days are now growing shorter leading to winter and a birth.

Midsummer Night's Eve or St John's Eve

Tonight is Midsummer Night's Eve, tho summer solstice was the 21st. Shakespeare set his play A Midsummer Night's Dream on this night, with all its magical forest revelries. It's also called St John's Eve.

I've been to two Midsummer Night parties. One was at a friend's home and most people came in costumes or at least a face mask. The other was in a park. Beauty was everywhere: the gardens, the short rain, the breeze blowing colored scarves we hung in the trees, ducks and jumping fish in a pond, colorful table coverings and flowers in vases and candles, and then the varied extravagance of beautiful women. We ate sitting on blankets and pillows from around the world, around a ring of candles and flowers. We shared thoughts and blessings and writings and a collage.

A friend asked me awhile back to share my thoughts about nature's seasons. So I'm just now getting around to it since this solstice reminds me of it. We are actually very rhythmical creatures, though technology brings produce and flowers out of season and we can now push buttons that disassociate us from the rhythms of nature. We become a-rhythmical.

Could this disassociation also keep us from thinking there's something more encompassing than ourselves, something/Someone greater than ourselves? With technology we keep pulling the future toward us wanting everything to happen more quickly, yet we complain there's not enough time. We want instant gratification yet have let-downs of "is this all?"

We can easily tend to our physical nourishment, but what nourishes our soul? What brings healing? joy? There's a saying - "To travel hopefully is better than to arrive". Nourishment for me comes from making space in my days: anticipating life's mysteries, and God's surprises. Anticipation leads to reverence, which partners with wonder.

I love our era with all our choices of convenience. But for my soul, I do not want to neglect the needed space for Truth, goodness, and beauty - life's fundamentals. My soul breathes, taking in the world through my senses. My approach to the year's seasons or rhythms is like practicing the steps of the year's dance.

Winter is a breathing in, both externally and internally. As the natural world withdraws into the earth and we draw into the warmth of the house. Inwardly I'm very active with thinking, reading, pondering and creativity. It feels like a time of rest.

Spring and Fall equinoxes are a balance of light and dark and seem to bring more busyness. From Winter's rest Spring brings new life, warmth and color. But it has its setbacks with it's late frosts and hail, both externally and internally.

Summer Solstice is a breathing out time. Nature is the exhale of the earth. Leaf and bright colors are put on. Lots of growth and external activity. But internally? We kind of 'fall asleep' into a dreamy summer state.

Fall absorbs the summer activity back into the earth. Summer dreams are not always attainable and with fall we 'come down to earth' - reality. We wake from our dreamy state. Autumn's 'trial by fire' with its fall colors brings an inner fire, bringing a warmth for the darkness of winter ahead. The clarity of my mind restores in the fall and along with it a new vigor and freshness.

This is the harmony of nature's seasons and moods I've blended with my internal seasonal path of my soul - what I call "soul breathing". I'll be saying more about this tomorrow, John the Baptist Day, as his message to me addresses my summer dreamy state.

On my circular calendar I've tried to visually show this seasonal progression with colors of the rainbow around the circle. Winter being dark purple to blue ...